MEET THE MYSTIC MIDWIFE

I'm Jess.

A registered nurse. A neurodivergent woman. A single mother. A survivor of trauma and emotional abuse.

But before I became The Mystic Midwife, before The Spiral Companion, before Plant Medicine Healing was ever a thought, I was a woman desperately trying to understand why I was falling apart.

For years, I questioned my worth, my perceptions, and sometimes even my sanity.

I convinced myself that I was the problem.

That I was too traumatized. Too sensitive. Too reactive. That my past had damaged me so deeply that I couldn't recognize love when it was standing in front of me.

So I did what I knew how to do.

I turned inward.

I studied my triggers. I questioned my reactions. I searched for the wounds that needed healing. I took responsibility for my pain, my emotions, and eventually, things that were never mine to carry.

What I didn't understand was that while I was desperately trying to heal my past, I was also being hurt in my present.

Yes, I had trauma.

Yes, my nervous system was responding to old wounds.

But I was also experiencing emotional abuse, manipulation, and neglect.

And because I could see the good in someone, I kept finding reasons to overlook the harm.

I confused understanding someone's behavior with having to accept it.

I confused compassion with responsibility.

I confused being needed with being loved.

And slowly, I disappeared.

The Atlas Mother

I was the woman who held everything together.

The appointments. The children. The emotions. The planning. The invisible labor. The thousand things no one notices until someone stops doing them.

I carried the mental load of my relationship and the overwhelming responsibilities of motherhood while wondering why I couldn't seem to hold myself together.

As a neurodivergent woman, I had become exceptionally good at masking.

I could function while falling apart.

I could care for others while barely caring for myself.

I could recognize pain in everyone around me while becoming increasingly disconnected from my own.

I was drowning in plain sight.

But when you're the Atlas mother, when everyone depends on you, falling apart doesn't feel like an option.

There was no one waiting to catch me.

No safe place to put the weight down.

Eventually, the isolation, confusion, and emotional pain became so unbearable that I came frighteningly close to losing my life to suicide.

And even then, I believed something was fundamentally wrong with me.

I couldn't understand why I was breaking.

I had spent so much time asking, "What's wrong with me?"

I hadn't been asking, "What is happening to me?"

That distinction would change everything.

I Needed a Hand to Hold.

I didn't need someone to tell me to meditate more, regulate harder, or find another wound to heal.

I needed someone to recognize that my distress wasn't necessarily evidence that I was the problem.

I needed someone to help me distinguish between the pain of my past and the harm happening in my present.

Someone who could name manipulation and emotional abuse when I had been conditioned to explain them away.

Someone who understood neurodivergent overwhelm and how exhausting it is to navigate a world that often makes you feel like an alien.

Someone who could see beyond the mask.

Someone who understood that the woman holding everyone else together might be the woman most desperately needing support.

I needed honesty without judgment.

Education without shame.

Grounding when my nervous system was overwhelmed.

Compassion without someone else making my decisions for me.

I needed someone who could see what I couldn't see, until I could learn to trust my own eyes again.

I needed what I couldn't find.

So I began creating it.

Turning Pain Into Purpose

I have always believed in turning pain into purpose.

Not because I believe abuse was necessary for my growth.

Not because suffering was somehow deserved.

But because I refuse to let what hurt me become the only thing my suffering leaves behind.

I began to recognize how easily empathy can become self-abandonment when it exists without boundaries.

How someone who feels deeply can become so focused on understanding everyone else's pain that she forgets her own deserves consideration.

How trauma survivors can mistake familiar pain for love.

How neurodivergent women can spend years masking their distress, questioning their perceptions, and trying to make themselves easier for others to understand.

And how emotional manipulation can make a woman distrust the very instincts that are trying to protect her.

I wanted to create resources that could help women recognize these patterns sooner.

Resources that don't automatically label every uncomfortable feeling a trauma response.

Resources that acknowledge two truths can exist together:

You can have wounds from your past and still be experiencing genuine harm in your present.

You can need nervous-system support and stronger boundaries.

You can have compassion for someone and still recognize that their behavior is hurting you.

You can love someone and still choose yourself.

This is the foundation of Plant Medicine Healing.

What I'm Creating

Plant Medicine Healing is the support I wish I'd had when I was losing myself.

It is where my nursing experience, lived understanding of trauma, neurodivergence, nervous-system education, spiritual exploration, and belief in personal sovereignty come together.

Through The Spiral Companion, I've created a guided journal for the moments when emotions become too loud and you need somewhere safe to put your thoughts before they consume you.

Through the Relationship Safety Check, I want women to have a place to reflect honestly on emotional safety, accountability, neglect, manipulation, and recurring relationship patterns.

Through free resources like Why Am I Spiraling?, I want grounding and self-understanding to be available without financial barriers.

And through The Spiral Companion App, now in development, I'm bringing these tools together in a space designed to help women:

Regulate. Repattern. Create.

To move from emotional overwhelm toward clarity.

From questioning themselves toward trusting themselves.

From endlessly surviving toward consciously participating in their own lives.

My vision extends further still.

I am developing educational courses that I hope to make accessible through future scholarships. And one day, I want this work to grow into practical assistance for single mothers rebuilding their lives after abusive relationships.

Because sometimes a woman doesn't just need encouragement to begin again.

She needs access, resources, and an opportunity to do so.

The Woman I Am Becoming

I am still healing.

Still learning.

Still discovering who I am beneath the roles I've played, the expectations I've carried, and the survival patterns that once kept me going.

I am learning that self-love isn't simply repeating affirmations until I believe them.

Sometimes self-love is believing myself when something hurts.

Sometimes it's establishing a boundary without apologizing for having one.

Sometimes it's recognizing that seeing the good in someone does not erase the impact of the harm they cause.

I am learning that love should not require me to disappear.

That being understanding doesn't mean being endlessly accommodating.

That my needs matter.

That I deserve reciprocity, tenderness, honesty, emotional safety, and support.

And perhaps most importantly, I am learning that I deserve to experience the life I've spent so many years working to hold together.

I want my children to know a mother who does more than survive.

A mother who laughs.

Who rests.

Who experiences joy.

Who knows her worth and lives accordingly.

A mother who teaches them, through her own example, that love should never require the abandonment of oneself.

I cannot change the years I spent losing myself.

But I can choose what I do with the years ahead.

I choose myself. I choose my children. I choose peace. I choose a life that feels like mine.

And I am learning to extend the same compassion to myself that I spent a lifetime so freely giving to everyone else.

My Promise to You

If you've found your way here because you're questioning your worth, your relationship, your reactions, or your own knowing, I want you to hear me.

You do not have to prove your pain is real.

You do not have to be perfectly regulated to deserve love.

You do not have to diagnose another person to acknowledge that their behavior is hurting you.

You do not have to understand someone's wounds so deeply that you abandon your own.

And you do not have to keep carrying everything alone simply because you've always been the one strong enough to do it.

I'm not here to tell you who to love, whether to stay or leave, or what your life should look like.

I'm here to offer education, reflection, practical tools, and a compassionate place to begin finding your own answers.

I want you to feel seen when the world has made you invisible.

Heard when you've spent years trying to explain your pain.

Understood when you've spent your life feeling different.

Supported when you've been carrying everything alone.

And hopeful when you've begun to believe things will never change.

Because the woman you were before survival took over is still worthy of being known.

You are allowed to reclaim her.

You are allowed to discover someone entirely new.

You are allowed to build a life in which your peace, your joy, your boundaries, and your wellbeing matter.

You don't have to have everything figured out before you begin.

And you don't have to perform being okay to find support here.

When you spiral, come here first.

With love,

Jess
The Mystic Midwife
Founder of Plant Medicine Healing

A Place to Begin

Whether you're questioning your relationship, navigating an emotional spiral, or simply longing to reconnect with yourself, there is a place for you here.

Explore The Spiral Companion, take the free Relationship Safety Check, or download your free spiraling guide.

Plant Medicine Healing offers educational, reflective, and integration support. These resources do not replace individualized mental health care, licensed therapy, domestic violence advocacy, or emergency services.